What the Hell
by Erica Kanezawa
Summary: The days went by like the usual, but suddenly Gakupo's gone nuts and caused chaos for the other vocaloids. What's wrong, only Gakupo knows.   Percentage of getting flame'd: 99,98%


It was a nice day. As usual, the vocaloids gather at the studio, whether to record their new songs or to look for a place to stay, even to bug the others since they're bored. Those were their daily routines, really.

Suddenly, though there were no rain, no snow, no tuna falling from the sky, Gakupo Kamui shouted;

"WHAT THE HELL!"

.. Silence followed. Kaito and Kagamine Len stared at him, the girls ignoring him.

"'S up, man?" Len asked, finishing his banana, throwing it to the trash bin. Kaito only stared at him, forgetting the hot iron that's still sitting on his scarf.

Gakupo sighed, holding his head, "Something's wrong! Something's not right!"

"What's not right?" Kaito raised an eyebrow, still staring at him, not realizing the life of his scarf that's getting shorter and shorter.

Len tugged Kaito's vest, pointing to the scarf. Kaito shrieked in horror, lifting the iron as fast as possible but it was too late. Gakupo only stared at him, mumbling, "That's wrong too.."

Finally, Rin, Len's twin, who is ignoring them all the time, turned her glare at them.

"Noisy!" she said, pointing at them with her feet. She was listening to a song, but when finally her favourite part came, she couldn't hear it because Kaito shrieked.

Cradling his half-burned scarf, Kaito protested, "You didn't yell at Gakupo! He shouted louder than me!"

Rin, tired of arguing with the blue-haired vocaloid, ignored him, increasing the volume of her mp3 player.

"Queenie." Len yawned, "Know your place, Kaito."

"This is your fault, Gakupo! Say something!" Kaito protested even more, accidentally ripped his scarf.

Meiko closed the magazine she was reading, seeing Kaito who's mourning over his half-burned, ripped scarf. She gave Kaito a pat on his shoulder. Kaito turned to see her, with his eyes which are starting to water, looking at Meiko with puppy-eyes.

Kaito was waiting for words of consolation when Meiko whispered, "Don't go home today," with an angry tone.

Kaito froze, remembering that the scarf was a birthday present from Meiko which was sewn by herself. The band-aids were still sticking on Meiko's hand, since she had just given it days ago. Meiko left the room, banging on the door. Kaito's face turned pale, still hugging his dead scarf.

Len, who's aware of the events from the beginning, sweated. He stared at Gakupo again, who's striking a pose of agony, mumbling that something's wrong.

Though with her headphones on, Rin is still able to hear Gakupo's mumbling which got her pissed. She picked an orange from the basket and threw it to Gakupo. It did hit, but Gakupo didn't stop. He didn't even realize that something had hit him since Rin's throw is too weak.

Upset, the next thing Rin threw was a yellow onion. Rin was aiming for Gakupo's eyes but was blocked with his hands. When Rin's about to throw Len's one-to-forty scaled road-roller figure, Len turned pale, pulling Rin.

Seconds later, Megurine Luka, who had just arrived, opened the door. The first thing she saw was Kaito, who had shrunk because of the pressure he got from Meiko. His eyes were blank, but it's clear that he's suppressing his fear. Trembling, he hid his face with his half-burned, ripped scarf.

Poor thing, Luka thought to herself, but when she's about to ask what had happened, she saw Len's body, or corpse, spread on the floor with the edge of his favourite road-roller figure sticking on his head. Rin's pinned below Len, unable to move, struggling. Getting confused of what's happening, she noticed Gakupo on the corner, still mumbling.

"Gakupo," she asked, putting her bag on the table, "what happened?"

Gakupo stared at her for a while, sighed, but said nothing. He dropped his gaze, continuing his weird mumbling. Getting ignored annoys Luka the most. She was about to crush a eggplant with her pointed high-heels when Gakupo whispered, "Something's wrong.."

I know something's wrong, Luka thought to herself, putting the eggplant back to the basket.

Luka sat beside Len's corpse, trying to ask Rin, who had stopped struggling since she knew it's futile to do so.

"Rin, what happened?" she asked her, with a concerned tone.

"How.. should I know.." Rin groaned, "Gakupo's weird today! Maybe his brain lost a screw!"

Hearing that, Luka backed off with a frightened face. Rin asked her to help her before, but instead of helping Rin, Luka ran straight to Gakupo, with a worried face. Now Rin's the one who got confused.

"Rin," Luka asked, her hand on Gakupo's forehead, checking for his body temperature, "When did you realize this matter?"

Rin, though unable to move, finally had her position adjusted to her liking. She had given up in, struggling, and asking for help.

"This morning," Rin replied, turning her mp3 on again, "what's with your reaction, anyway? You know something regarding this matter?"

Luka swallowed, "I thought I know Gakupo the most.."

Gakupo and Luka were going out together. They're known around the city, though it brings jealousy all over the place. Gakupo's fans sometimes threaten Luka by saying that they're going to kill all of the tuna around the world, when Luka's fans often threaten Gakupo by stealing his favourite underwear which's called a "loincloth". Their days were filled with toil and tears. They went through somehow, though.

Rin scratched her head, clueless. So what, she thought to herself. When she's about to tell Luka what's in her head, Luka continued, tears falling down her cheek, ".. But I didn't even realize that he's a robot.."

Silence.

.. Only for Rin, though. The room's still filled with Luka's sobs and Gakupo's weird mumbling.

"Uhh.." Rin said as she played with her hair, "That's not what I meant.."

Luka wiped her tears, "Huh? But.."

Luka's sentence was cut by the sound of the door. Leon and Lola finally finished their recording for their new movie. Yes, movie, not song. Because of the second-generation vocaloids they were forgotten, their fame dropped to the deepest of an abyss, and now they're trying to once again raise their name by appearing on TV as comedians.

"Hmm? What's this..?" Leon perceived the area. Kaito, unconscious, lacking oxygen. Somehow he strangled himself with the half-burned, ripped scarf, turning his face as blue as his hair. On the other side of the room there's the Kagamine Twins, one above and one below. Doing the yoga pose, he thought to himself. Last but not least, he saw Gakupo Kamui on the corner, along with Megurine Luka, still with tears on her face.

"Are you guys playing some kind of game?" Lola asked, excited. She wanted to have some fun today, tired from all of the recording because she has to be the one to pull the stunts, since Miriam is unavailable that day, hospitalized. The reason why, is because Miriam, the silver-haired vocaloid, failed the 'bungee jumping' part. Being a comedian means you have to risk your life, she thought to herself.

"No games!" Luka shouted, "This is serious! Gakupo's broken!"

Rin is tired already. She decided to listen to her mp3 while waiting for someone to move Len's corpse. Maybe this night the cleaning service will come, she thought to herself.

Leon crouched beside Luka, checking for Gakupo. But he found no abnormalities, except for Gakupo's weird murmuring.

Leon turned his gaze to Luka, "What do you mean he's broken?"

"Maybe if we hit his head with a frying pan he'll get back to his senses," Lola added.

Luka objected, hitting Lola's head with a frozen tuna.

Unexpectedly, Lola took a folding-frying-pan from her pocket, unfolded it, and banged it on Luka's head. Dizzy, Luka backed off, but countered it later, swinging her frozen tuna.

Used to the ruckus caused by Lola, Leon behaved calmly, trying to find out what's wrong with Gakupo. Behind him frozen tuna and frying pan clashed against each other, both girls danced with their weapon(?) as they showed their magnificent sword skills. You'd have to pay to see this kind of show, but Leon is unaffected. He was focusing himself to find out what's wrong with Gakupo. After some minutes, finally Leon gave up. There's nothing wrong with Gakupo's physical health, so the most possible answer is Gakupo's gone nuts.

Lola and Luka were tired; they haven't stopped even for a second. Lola's last strike missed Luka. She threw her portable-frying-pan to Luka but it didn't hit. Luka, too, threw her frozen tuna to Lola, but it didn't hit. Luka's frozen tuna which missed Lola accidentally hit the back of Leon's head, then he fell unconscious. In the end both girl collapsed because of the fatigue.

Gakupo sighed, shaking his head.

Not long after that, Megpoid Gumi, known as the most cheerful vocaloid when it comes to carrots, opened the door. Before, at the recording studio she saw angry Meiko. Now, at the corner of the room she saw Kaito. She saw the Kagamine Twins too. She even saw Luka, Leon and Lola. But then she smiled, ignoring them all, walking towards Gakupo, asking, "Say, where will you celebrate your birthday tomorrow?"

Gakupo twitched his eyes open. At last, he stood up, grabbing Gumi's shoulders, shouting, "You remembered?"

"H-huh?" Gumi staggered, "Remembered what?"

"My birthday!" Gakupo replied, "Hear this, nobody remembers that today's my birthday.."

Gumi lifted her cell phone, opening the calendar then showed it to Gakupo. The 30th of July. His birthday is the 31st of July. He froze for a second, scratching his hair, backing off a bit. He took a deep breath then exhaled.

"Oh, so that's it!" he grinned, "Heheh, I thought everyone had forgotten my birthday.. Sorry, everyone!"

Silence followed.

It is known later that Gakupo's birthday that year wasn't very merry. The only one who attended was Gumi, since she's the only one who still had some energy left. The others couldn't attend; some because they're at the other countries to perform, some because they're hospitalized, Meiko for her tired arms, Kaito for fifty broken bones, Rin for her stiff back, Len and Leon for lack of blood, Miriam for her broken neck, Luka and Lola for exhaustion.

"Waaah! They've forgotten my birthday for real!" Gakupo wept as Gumi ate the carrot cake that's supposed to be Gakupo's birthday present. That's not really the case, Gumi thought to herself, staring blankly at the horizon, feeling sorry for her stupid senior.


End file.
